6 Ways to Boost False Hopes

6 Ways to Boost False Hopes

Leading to ultimate disappointment.

I’ve never heard of Dave Asprey. But AskMen thinks he has valuable ideas about fitness. Before I send you over to read it, I’m going to let you know that he doesn’t. Dave Asprey’s 6 Best Muscle Growth Hacks are garbage. The worst part, though, is that you’ve all heard (and probably said) them before. So when you see a relatively famous person repeat them, you believe it that much more. Allow me to disabuse you of that belief.

1. Know Your Stuff

This is an obviously good place to start. But the problems start in the explanation:

If you are unsure of what the equipment at your local gym does you can hire a trainer for one session to show you how to use it properly. If you want a different workout environment than a gym, you could find a local CrossFit gym (called a box), where a trainer will teach you the equivalents of the movements you would get from gym equipment, but with free weights instead.

This is bass ackwards. If you’re trying to learn strength training, you should start with free weights. Dumbbell, barbell, and kettlebell (and bodyweight) exercises are the pinnacle. They force you to build your stabilizing muscles, control your body, and create functional strength. Machines are the fall back. The machines are the equivalents of the movements you can better perform with free weights.

2. Learn These Five Compound Moves

Again, good advice. The five compound moves are bench press, back squat, deadlift, military press, and pullups. Oh, wait…

The five compound moves that are most beneficial to your muscle growth are: seated row, chest press, pulldown, overhead press, leg press.

There’s that machine preference again. And then he advises a single burnout set (reps to failure) of 1 1/2 to 2 minutes. that’s it. 5 movements, for up to 10 minutes of work. Really?

3. Only Work Out One To Three Times Per Week

Because overtraining.

No. You cannot overtrain at 4 times per week, unless you are doing literal marathon training, or some equivalent (2 hours of very high output with little rest). Here, let a real expert explain this to you. Not enough? This guy’s a Ph.D., he’s got citations and everything. Ok, good, now you know that this next one is plain foolish.

4. Practice Proper Recovery

Again, sounds good. You have to get each muscle group enough rest for it to recover and grow.

Keep in mind that proper recovery is extremely important. Whether you are performing weight-lifting exercise or high-intensity interval training sprints, make sure you wait at the very least for two days — and up to 10 days — before your next workout. Between 4 and 7 days is the sweet spot.

2-10 days? Let’s ignore the obvious and first focus on the range he offers. There’s a hell of a lot of difference between 2 days and ten. “Hey, man, how long should I wait before I call this girl after getting her number?” “Between 2 and 10 days.” Super helpful man, thanks.

Now, if you read those two articles linked above, you know that you only need 4-7 days if you’ve overreached and your muscles are responding poorly. Otherwise, you can hit each muscle group 2-3 times a week, and have splits where you’re in the gym 4-6 times. You will only suffer overtraining if you don’t eat properly, or you push yourself to breaking for hours every single day. Trust me, you can’t do that if you follow this next piece of shitty advice.

5. Your Workout Should Not Last Longer Than 20 Minutes

I don’t even understand this. He doesn’t even give a good reason. He just says it.

Listen, if you’re way out of shape, and 20 minutes of working out a) exhausts you, and b) shows results, then do it. But if you’re that out of shape you won’t need anyone to tell you to stick to 20 minutes.

For the rest of us, it’s just laziness. We hate the gym, working out, running, whatever. And we want to make it as short as possible. Well, I can promise you that this workout is going to do more for you than watching that next episode of House on Netflix. But, if you want, you can watch the episode while working out. Win/win.

6. Time Your Carbs

Yes, simple carbs after workouts. Just no HFCS. That stuff is no bueno.

According to Jim Stoppani, Ph.D, doctor of exercise physiology, you should eat gummy bears immediately after your workout. “Fast-digesting carbs hit your blood stream quicker, causing insulin to spike. Fast-digesting carbs are ideal after a workout. That is one of the main reasons why I recommend opting for the gummy bears,” Stoppani states on his website.
Read more at http://www.philly.com/philly/health/sportsmedicine/Post-workout_key_Gummy_bears.html#2zjF55RfkYKbshgO.99

There is good advice out there. I get mine from the Ph.D. writers for Bodybuilding.com, and some other sources I trust. Do not get yours from Dr. Oz, Good Morning America, or pretty much anything else on TV (or biohackers, apparently).

  • Eat an appropriate amount (for most that’s less, for some it’s more); Fill this out.
  • Get enough protein (~ 0.8 grams x your weight in pounds)
  • Do more work. Lift, swim, run, bike, jump rope, jumping jacks…whatever. Just do it. Start with 20 minutes 3 times a week if you have to, but make it a daily habit.

And that’s all you need. No secrets, no special knowledge, no carefully tuned workouts. Just 3 guidelines, persistence, and willpower. Do it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *